Thursday, May 19

It all started with us being assigned on a same job that eventually never happened, but I couldn't explain why I was so drawn to you. Perhaps it's your brilliant smile and your dimpled cheeks, or maybe it's your kindness and genuineness that permeate through the room when you walk in, all I knew was I was swept off my feet and the next thing I know, I was trying to catch your attention and that's how the Starbucks free delivery text came about. Our very first text message. Few weeks later, I mustered all the courage I have within me to ask you out for jogging. I know, not romantic but I wanted it to be continuous, so that I would have the chance to slowly get to know you and vice versa.

Never know why, but only you seem to find my lame humor funny. And of course, that's the part not many people is lucky enough to see. Perfect is never on my resume or part of my profile, and I always wondered why would you fell for me. Overslept on our second jogging date; instead of West Virginia I blurted out female's genital; overacted on the promotion dinner you organised; pretending to be walking a dog using lanyard in office... Honestly, not a single day I woke up without telling myself I'm one hell of a lucky guy to have you by my side.

You know what was the one date I loved the most? The one where we were in Starbucks reading our blogs and laughed like the whole world only existed for us. Being around you is always so spontaneous, natural and your presence alone just melt down all the high walls I built to guard my emotions. As I'm writing this, all our memories resurfaced right in front of eyes. How lovely they are, even those times where we fought, at least we were still standing by each other and fought through whatever life thrown at us. Truth is, no matter how perfect a relationship is, they are never without challenges. What makes it perfect is the courage to weather through together, and never stop having honest conversation together.

As I walked down the memory lane, tears welled up but a gust of contentment warmed my chest. Sad because this train has come to a halt; contended because I was happy to played an important role in part of your life. I couldn't thank you enough for everything you have done for me. From taking care of me when I was immobilsed to the last farewell party you pulled off for me before I left Malaysia, I felt loved all these times with you and if you do not already know this, you are amazing hun. You thought me a lot of things and I've always admire you, your decisiveness, caring and kind personality, intelligence and knowledge, courage and passion for life. The fact is I look up to you and you inspire me to be better self.

Travelling with you is what I love the most. I love holding your hand and strolling along unknown streets hunting for food; taking random pictures along the way; experiencing different cultures and trying new things together, sipping Mojito and people watching. Although Bali is our only trip with just us, I've always looking forward to more trips with you. At least that's how I envisioned our future but eternity doesn't seem to favor us. I know I probably screwed up here but I finally found out why, but it seems like the realisation came too late.

Our love was impeccable, least we could say that we had our moment. But we underestimated the challenges on long distance relationship and somehow it crept into our life and crippled our communication. I once thought as long as we keep each other in mind we'll get through it, but apparently it's not just that. Love, as simple as how we fell for each other, could just be as complicated as rocket science. Maybe it's not a subject meant to be understood anyway.

Although you told me the reason behind your decision, my mind is still full of questions. But one thing for sure, if time repeat itself again, I wouldn't have chosen otherwise, even if the ending is the same. Perhaps the prettiest thing in the world just isn't meant to last, guess we just have to live at the moment without regret. You said love is a choice, and I couldn't agree more. No matter what comes next, I hope you will choose love not fear. Remember, love conquers all; fear deters.

Sunday, May 1

1 of May

At a corner of a cafe,
Your face beamed with excitement and anticipation,
My heart raced as I nervously whispered in your ears,
You shyly nodded and a magical journey began,
Two souls bound together,
On 1 of May.

Perhaps we exhausted all our pixie dust,
Scars lay bare and souls wearied,
Hopelessly seeing the last winter breath,
Freezes all the promises spring could bring,
Yet another unfinished melody,
On 1 of May.