Like a heavy downpour without any sign, a rush of mixed emotions just swarmed my mind, drowning me in the endless uneasiness...

Please be happy, at least don't look back anymore, at least let both of us know that we've made the right choice. Yes, I still miss you a lot and there are times I wish I could have the courage to hold you back, but I know all these will not turn out good, at the very least, make me a good memory to you. 

But please, don't make me a stranger to you. That's really hurt. I'm just not that kind of person who can say goodbye like nothing happened before after being so close. 

Please be happy, for sometimes good things must fall apart so that better things can fall within. 

Just close my eyes
 you will be alright

I will be alright

everything will be alright

 you and I will be safe and sound

right?

Here I Am Again

Any loyal reader out there? Ok never mind, I see no hands... It's ok, I just feel like writing =P

Believe me, there were times where I was back here with the intention to share, but for whatever reasons, it always got interrupted and now, there are more drafts than published posts in my admin page. Hopefully this post will be published and not remained as draft.

Well, second day of 2012, but I seriously not in a mood to set my new year resolution neither am I in the mood of reviewing my progression on my last year's resolution. But 2011 had been a year so different from what I've gone through for the past 20 years or so. Well, I'd just dedicate this post to some of the TOP moments in 2011.

Top 2 Terrifying Moment in 2011

2. I've done my work and I asked my senior through online communication tool if he/she needs any help and he/she replied "I need someone to kill me, can?" 

Believe me, that's one helluva of scary stuff. First thing first, I barely know him/her and secondly, online communication tool has no emotion, so I don't know if he/she's fooling around with me or I'm simply too annoying. Not knowing what to do next, I just stood there dumbfounded.

1. My car spun violently and all I hear was several loud crashes and glass shattering, thank God I'm still alive...

I do not wish to re-experience this ever again, it is the worst thing ever happened to me by far. Thank God I was alone on that road that morning and I came out the badly damaged car unscathed.


Top 2 Unforgettable Moment in 2011 

2.  I visited my grandma in hospital and she asked me to sit but I said I've been sitting too long until my backside hurt, she smiled... And that was her last smile...

I've never liked the idea of dying, and even though I know sooner or later I'm going to experience it, I've always shun the thought away. Until in late August 2011, I've seen my grandma passed away in front of me. She'll always in my heart, may you rest in peace, grandma.     

1.  She was dressed in light blue Maxi dress, a 3-course-meal awaiting me...

That was one of the best nights I had in 2011, she cooked a 3-course-meal all by herself, setting up the candle lights and waiting patiently for me to come over after work. When her plan dawn on me, I couldn't close my jaw for a good 10 minutes and no words came out of it. It was very unexpected and hey dear, you are awesome! Thanks and I will always love you...

Happy 2012! 

U.P.D.A.T.E.S

A lot has happened in this short span of time. I think it would take up a good fortnight to give a blow-to-blow detail of what I've been up to or what had jumped into my life and took me by surprise. To cut short, after three years, here comes the moment where I've to don in some silly robes, holding a rolled quality paper that cost me 38k and smile to the camera. Supposedly to be one of my proudest moments. Yea, supposedly. Well, under my mortarboard, there hides a word regret with capital letters. Anyway, I still feel an ounce of happiness on this regard, but, sigh, gone my student-priced-movie-tickets. This ain't good huh?

So on the tour of getting myself employed, a lot of anxious, self-doubt and nervous were on the way. It wasn't a smooth drive like my other friends, where they hit the jackpot for the first interview. Awfully screwed up the first interview, and the next thing I know was finding myself in a dilemma between going on with what I had on hand or risked it for a better choice. Thank God it all ended well and everything is settled down. My earnest gratitude to those assisted me along the way, this includes Mr. Google.

Alright, a snippet on the second happiest man in the world. Well, you know who you are. So far so good I would say, despite some small fights now and then. You wouldn't know how surprised I was that day when you get me water during dinner. It's not just about saying the sacred three words, the warmness comes from small little stuff like that, at least to me. You deserve the award and keep making me the happiest man in the world ya? 

To wrap up everything, life has been what it is, not lacking moments of joy or anger or tear, what is really lacking is a rewind button. But who needs it? You wouldn't know how it would have been if another road were taken. Why bother then? 

"To be more awesome than last year"

I remember early this year I set this as my goal for 2010. But truth be told, I failed badly. If there is a scale to judge my yearly performance up to my 21 years of existence on earth, I think I've been the worse me in 2010. 

I abused all the trusts that were put forth on me and brought disappointment to those I hold dear. How unworthy...

If there is one last thing I got to do before the arrival of 2011, it would be a sincere apology to all whom I've troubled, disappointed, hurt and offended. It's time to get myself out of this mess, not without all of your help though. So please kick me in my butt when I show a slight sign of irresponsibility. 

Few more days to 2011, few things that I shall start doing:

• Be a better bf, brother, son, friend and a follower of Christ
• Be on time
• Stop procrastinate and get things done fast
• Keep my words

and most importantly, be more awesome than whom I was.

 

To end this, Merry Christmas to all wonderful people around me! =) 

Finale

I can't remember when was my first encounter with piano. It wasn't because of interest that I started learning piano and as far as my memory is concerned, silly to say, as a young boy I always felt so embarrassed to tell my friends that I learn piano. For me back then, piano is for girls. So imagine with no interest, no love, nothing, I'd always wanted to stop, just that this idea had never passed through my parent. Strangely enough, I never failed any paper and now I can't stop wondering what if I failed all those years, would I green with envy when I look at others playing piano now?

My life is full of blessing, you see. I changed piano teacher for quite a few times but I dare say none of them is as good as Melissa. One of them even told my mom that she doesn't like me and requested to take my brother only, how terrible is that! My interest started to grow for few reasons but I'm just like a typist, practise to hit the notes correctly on the piano. Soulless. Dry. Unexciting. This can't be blamed, for years I was just following instructions, hitting the right notes without appreciation and passion. That's why I feel extremely diffident to play for anyone. At least not until I overcome this, so stay tuned will ya?

I don't know whether you would like this a not, but I'm totally in love with this! 

Zee Avi rocks! =) 

Weird taste of music I have. Yes? No? 

Who's Next?

Love is like rain, we can't live in drought. Love is like rain, it comes and it goes. Every time it comes, it comes in a different form, a unique story that belongs to no others. Yet when it goes, you know it will come back one day. 

Now that the rain has stopped, I'm gotta roll over the muddy field and wait for the next one to dance with me in the rain.