Monday, July 30

Trivial #1

As the soft ray of the golden evening sun oozed across the reddish sky, I couldn't help but to stand underneath for a good five minutes with my eyes closed, allowing the evening heat to permeate through my skin and ignite my bones. For months I've been working relentlessly through the wee hours, comatose from lack of sleep, barely sustaining on will and caffeine. As the heat slowly wraps itself all over my body, I could feel a gust of energy bursting insideout, associated with a flood of relief. Finally, all burdens are shook off and I'm home for dinner. Ah, pretty pretty sunset, how I've missed you so!

Thursday, July 26

At at a moment like this, I'd pick up my phone and dial the number I know by heart and share all the things that excites me during the day or just listen to your voice and there goes all my sorrow. When my mind swirl into chaos, she always has this power to command the chaos back in order. Many of the times, she's the only one whom I wanted to share with, as though she's the gravity my life circles around, sounds dangerous but true. That was when I was still lucky enough to be in possession of that special someone. But now that I've lost her, I've to fall back to this quiet little space, to put things down in words and trying to clear my mind.

You see, I'm too a human, nothing more nor less. When my mind is unoccupied, it conscientiously races down to my memory lane, drawing fleets and fleets of memories from the back of my mind and lodges them in front of my eyes. Sweet, sour, and some funny feelings I couldn't quite tell. And somehow when all these emotions jumbled up, it often associates with questions like how are you? Are you well? Are you happy? Where on earth are you now? and urges me to dial your number. When all these questions meet no end, they turned into the ugliest feeling spreading hatred in me. This really surprised me, guilty and disgusted by the thought, I have to keep myself busy before I left it uncontrollable and allowing this little devil to impair the goodwill we've built thus far. No, not a single speck or blemish is allowed to mar this last piece of gift from you. This is a tiresome mind warfare, but it all paid off when I still find myself being able to talk to you like a long lost friend. It's always great to hear from you and it comforts me that at least I didn't screw this up.

So you're still pretty much the same, even the grudge on me not getting you anything on your last birthday has not dwindled a tad. Speaking of which, your birthday is just around the corner, this year, in a different position, allow me to say this, "Happy Birthday! May your dreams stay big, problem stays small!"

p.s. Happy 3 years-old Hachio!

Monday, July 9

When the wind blew and the rain hailed mercilessly from the seamless dark cloud high above, 
rocking the small wretched boat aggressively to the arrhythmic beat of thunders, 
when the sailor shivered hopelessly and helplessly in the lone dark night, 
have the captain risked his life careening through the damp, cold night to rescue him?
Or simply left him stranded in the bleak weather, nauseated, just to appease the God of Thunder,
even though God of Thunder has all himself to blame for misplacing his own Mjölnir?
I know not, but I gave the benefit of doubt.

Sunday, July 1

A Short Respite

I was heart broken when the first time I was brought here. The second time, brought by the same person, only with a bigger crowd but a lighter atmosphere. Congratulations on your promotion and I guess those who have been your juniors are most thrilled on you reconsidering to stay for another half a year. At least we know that someone's backed you up, even though only one.

"The world suffers a lot, not because of the violence of the vile, but because of the silence of good people."

I couldn't agree more at first, but after a brief self reflection, my inclination is no different from the rest. Have I not backed away when I was talked down and tell myself "forget it, never mind..." But I'm not going to stay this way, I'm going to conquer my cowardice and voice up against unfavourable treatments.

Also on popo's short-term secondment to the Kiwi land, truthfully happy for her, her late nights and hardworks have finally paid off. The world is not all doom and gloom afterall.

I wonder if I could be as extraordinary as them, impacting other's life positively. And what does the future hold? I wonder...